Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
home. puking in laundry basket.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
