Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
