i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Someone signed my nipple.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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