I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
