Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
