Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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