So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
