it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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