yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
