Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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