Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
