I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
