I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
