At least make sure they are 18
Why
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
