i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
two words: eviction party
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
