This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
