Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
