Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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