Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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