YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
