my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
