i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
