I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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