yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
