U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
