Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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