Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
