That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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