i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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