you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
