Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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