I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
