I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
