Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
