My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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