sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
