Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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