and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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