as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
