dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
