we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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