apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
