the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
