My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
