i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
