Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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