i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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