I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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