now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
