The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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