I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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